Saturday, December 22, 2012

The Legally Blunt's way of greeting you a Happy Holiday :))

Hello all,

Before everyone goes on leave I wanted to send some sort of Christmas holiday greeting to friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with a lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Date an Immature guy they said, It will be fun they said ...

You should date an immature guy. You can find them in every size, shape, colour, and age anyway. Don't even be surprised if your immature guy is in his 30's and you are his lesser in age by a half a decade or more. Age is no real determining factor for the man plagued with unprecedented, eternal immaturity. You can find them in all sorts of places. At blockbuster, on his bike, at the corner store buying a bag of chips, or by the lake, mindlessly skipping rocks in to the water. But chances are you'll probably meet him at a pub, when you're already drunk and willing to cut him just enough slack for being so inept (only because it makes for a better excuse later down the road when you find yourself sitting completely shell-shocked at the realization that you’ve been grueling over a child trapped in the heavy guise of a man, or even worse, bewildered over the fact that you always knew this but chose to live in denial).

Date a Girl Who Reads

by Rosemarie Urquico 
(In response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date an Illiterate Girl)

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

When I got called for the first time to recite...

I was like: 

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